


The Voices Told Me To - A Note From Keith

by Alice_In_Tumblr_Land



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Kidnapping, Suicidal Thoughts, Voices in head, im sorry for this sudden sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 00:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16378052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_In_Tumblr_Land/pseuds/Alice_In_Tumblr_Land
Summary: Keith has been hearing voices. They tell him things.... Awful things....





	The Voices Told Me To - A Note From Keith

  
When I was 4, my parents put me in therapy.

I heard voices every so often, none of which were mine. They were always of a man with a deep voice, a small rasp to it. Sometimes I would see a shadow in my room, before it vanished. He often told me to do things and I would do it. He told me not to tell or else. My parents didn’t know about the mans voice, and when I got in trouble for acting up or being mean to other kids, I would lie. Really I was scared, but I didn’t tell them that.

They put me in therapy when the found out about the voice. We were at a local museum. I remember looking at a portrait of a man. I started to scream and cry. My parents wondered why I was making a fuss, as was other people and the museum staff.

I got the courage to tell them. I remember telling them “That’s the man in my head. He keeps telling me to hurt people.” My parents thought I was making this up, but the museum staff were concerned.

I didn’t know until I was put into therapy that the man in the portrait was a famous serial killed. That he often broke into peoples houses and talked to them in there sleep and when they woke they did his dirty deeds, having no recollection of it at all. The thing that freaked me out most was that he had died three blocks away from my house the day I was brought home from the hospital.

I don’t tell many people this, since I’m still terrified of it. I don’t tell them also because I’m afraid they won’t believe me. That people will think I’m making this up for attention. That I am a scaredy-cat and not a man.

I went to therapy for a long time. I only stopped in middle school when I got mad about other kids not having this problem and I was scared they would find out and bully me.

I didn’t have many friends to begin with growing up, I didn’t need another reason to make people go away. So mom and dad stopped therapy and instead put me in the big brother program.

I didn’t like the trade off. My assigned big brother at first seemed like a prick, like he was a smart rich snob.

Over time I didn’t mind Shiro. I would actually call him my friend now. He took me out to ice cream a lot and would help me with my homework. We told each other funny stories and he included me with his other friends and their siblings.

Matt, Katie, Shiro, and I all hung out a lot. I think my parents were happy, since I finally had a friend. I remember being so upset when Shiro graduated and was moving away for college. He told me we would stay in touch and he gave me his Skype name. He said we would talk at least once a week. I agreed to it.

Katie was also upset, since Matt went to the same college. We still hung out but she was a grade lower so it wasn’t as easy. I slowly drifted back to my isolated self.

I hadn’t had any voices in my head since I was a kid. I hadn’t seen any strange figures in my room for a long time. But I still get an odd feeling every so often that I’m being watched. I also only felt this way when I was alone. And the more alone I got, the more I noticed.

I was in 8th grade when I realized I was gay. I remember talking to Shiro about it a lot since he was gay and I never found interest in girls. I never told my parents, I didn’t want them to deal with another problem of mine.

But that problem became huge to me. When I was walking home from school one day, I noticed a kid. He was cute, tan, and looked terrified. He was sitting in the back of a car, mouthing something at people walking by. A man stood outside of the car on the phone. I didn’t think much of the scene, just of how attractive the boy was.

I also didn’t think I would see the boy again, since I hadn’t seen his face before that day. But I did see it again. When mom, dad, and I were eating dinner. The tv was playing the news. It had a story that haunts me.

The boy in the car was kidnapped, along with another girl from my school. His picture was on the screen and he looked much happier than earlier. I think he was asking for people to help him, mouthing to people for a way out. No one did. I didn’t.

I felt guilty. It took me a week to tell my parents why I didn’t want to walk to school anymore. Since then dad drove me to school and mom picked me up.

The boy did return. It was on the news for days when the kids were found and the man was put in jail. The creepy thing was was that he had multiple children, and none were from the same area. Apparently he was child trafficking, and their were thirty kids found, all from around the country.

I was.... obsessing, in a way, with the boy. I googled the names of the victims and looked up as much as I could about him. But because of the legal issues, I never got more than his name and birthplace.

Lance was engraved in my head. I have no idea why, but he was. It want until I was in 10th grade did I not think about him as much.

I have been talking about him to Shiro since it happened. He knows my problems and mental issues well. And he was right when he said someday something big will happen and make me forget about it. I didn’t expect the big thing that made me forget Lance was finding out Shiro and Matt went missing.

Katie and I didn’t really chat anymore. But when the announcement was made, we did start to rely on each other. She was my only friend and now the only one I had, since Matt and Shiro weren’t coming home now.

It was my idea to go into therapy again. I didn’t know how to talk to my parents about this stuff, I normally did with Shiro. I didn’t think it was possible for me to get even lonelier, but I did.

And with my loneliest came the voice again. It told me to cut myself, to harm my self and take my life to end this suffering.

I did cut, and I did get in fights to feel something, but I never went through with the death. I couldn’t.

I was depressed and given pills. They didn’t help much and I forgot to take them often. I started skipping class and smoked. I rarely came home and I knew it pained mom and dad, but I could let them see me in pain.

I forgot all about Lance. That is until I recognized a boy like him. I was buying cigarettes and an old classmate came in with him. I couldn’t stop staring at him.

My classmate, I think his names Hunk, recognized me and seemed happy. He was smiling wide and said he hadn’t seen me since I stopped showing up in 10th grade. He asked how I was and if I was ok. The other boy smiled awkwardly behind him.

I just nudged my head to him and said “who’s that?”

Hunk smiled, and it’s then I realized why I knew him. “Oh, this is Lance. His family just moved here.”

Lance. He was grown up now. And he looked ok, not like the photos burned in my head.

I didn’t remember much after that, how I started talking to him or why I suddenly went back to school and home. But I did.

I like to think it was Lance, that my crush on him made me happy and actually take my pills. That I felt ok and not alone for the first time in a long time. I had friends and felt ok for the first time in a long time.

But I was wrong. I don’t want to say I expected it to happen, after all, I was a closeted gay and he was a straight man. I don’t know why I told him I liked him and wanted to date him. I don’t know why I expected him not to get awkward and turn me down.

I should have known the voice would have taken me. The man’s shadowed appeared all the time at night since that day. I ignored lance’s calls and my parents. I ignored my pills and therapist. I didn’t ignore his voice, the razor cuts, the aching in my body.

The knife.

I felt awful, knowing my parents would have to hold a funeral for me. Knowing my few friends and classmates would have to go. I knew it was wrong, that I could get over this and get help.

But just like when I was a kid, the voice told me to do things. And I did them. And I only stopped when I took my life, just like it told me too.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry but I suddenly got this idea and I decided to post it. Please don’t hate


End file.
